Despite some initial awkwardness, I really enjoyed my first date with Casey. We walked together from the park to dinner. The walk gave us some time to talk about our hobbies and plans for after college. It also gave us the chance to discuss what our expectations were for this first date. I’m really glad we talked about what we were comfortable with, since he was uninterested in physical contact like holding hands or cuddling during dinner.

I felt a bit flustered, since that was something I was kind of looking forward to, but honestly I prefer slight disappointment to making Casey uncomfortable. We agreed that we got along well together, so I’ve realized it’s not worth rushing into intimacy, especially if Casey isn’t ready. Communication is really important, and even if it’s corny or awkward, making sure everyone is having a good time during a date is worth a conversation that sets boundaries around physical touch.

First Dates

Navigating a new or developing relationship is often awkward. Because you do not fully know a person yet, it can be difficult to parse what they do and do not want to do. That is why it is very important to be mindful of communication, especially during your first few dates. There are infinite numbers of acceptable levels of intimacy in an early dating relationship, but what makes up the dividing line between appropriate and inappropriate is consent. While it can feel awkward to have frank discussions about what people do and do not consent to, these are vital conversations to have, and lay the groundwork for healthy communication in any future dating or relationships.

Ask yourself: Do I know exactly where the “line” between comfort and discomfort is for my dating partner? Have we had a frank conversation about what we do and do not want to do on our first date? What verbal cues will indicate what they like and dislike? What nonverbal cues will do the same?